Thank You - Recovery Email 8

Today I went to an SAA meeting and got to hear a friend of mine presenting his “first step”. First step is a terminology used to describe the first step of Sex Addicts Anonymous which reads “We admitted we were powerless over addictive sexual behavior - that our lives had become unmanageable”. The first step tradition of SAA is to have the members write out their sexual history and examples of how progressively out of control their behaviors got. You can read more about the first step presentation here: http://www.sexaa.org/SAALiterature/English/FirstStepGuide/

This might sound a little rough, but it has a huge therapeutically benefit. First of all it forces the presenter to really take an honest look at his or her life, and realize just how much damage has been done.

Secondly, it is a very scary thing to do. Most of the sex addicts spend their lives believing that if somebody every found out about the nature of their behavior they would never talk to them again. So imagine how it would feel to sit down in front of 10-20 people and tell them everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that you’ve ever done. You know what happens next? People simply relate to you. Why? Because most of them had very similar experiences.

I remember my first step. It was one of the scariest things that I’ve ever done. At the same time it felt so good to finally get it all out. I felt like the weight was lifted of my shoulder. And the most surprising thing was that not only people did not stop to like me, it seemed that they started to like me more.

Listening to my friend today was a good remind of how sad and out of control my life used to be. It also was a good reminder of how much I love sobriety and the feeling of (relative) serenity and peace that it brings into my life.

It also reminded me how much I love FeedTheRightWolf.org. When I started this blog a little over 2 years ago, I couldn’t, in my wildest dreams, expect it to become such a great recovery spot on the internet as it has become. And I have nothing to do with it. It is all thanks to you and people like you who are participating in our common journey!

And our forum? I am so proud of our forum! I’ve been participating in many online forums over the years, but I have never came across such loving and carrying group of people before.

If you haven’t been following it, I highly suggest you pay it a visit. There is so much good stuff and love that flows through those pages, I couldn’t possibly express it all in here.

I wanted to give special thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Absolution, Mrs. Anon, Big Al, Dpacrepantance,  RightWolf, SadMax, Sami, Nick123, Xenon and many others. You guys are the best! Thank you so much for all your love, care, and support!

May God Bless You All!

Alex

Message to Rep. Weiner about his Sex Addiction - I Understand

Hello Mr. Weiner,

Today your life has turned upside down. Your relationship has been dealt a mighty blow and your political careers is probably ruined.

But I believe that one day you will look back on today as the day of your liberation. Today was the day when you were forced to break through the denial about your problem. Mr. Weiner, you are a sex addict and it is okay.

You are surely not alone. You are following alongside such politicians and celebrities as Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and Tiger Woods.But most importantly, you are following millions of other men and women who suffer with this problem alone.

Our society is in denial about the powerful energy that human sexuality is. We all were lead to believe that it is easy for men and women to do the right thing, given that they are willing to do so. As you found out through your own experience, it is not always the case.

Some people might not understand why would a successful politician engage in such activities as phone and video sex, but I understand. It is not easy trying to be perfect. It is not easy driving yourself to succeed, and at it not always easy doing the right thing.

Somewhere along the way you've probably developed a believe that sexual encounters over the internet were a healthy way for you to relax . You probably told yourself that internet was just a fantasy and that it would never effect the real life or hurt real people. I believe today you found out those statements to be false.

The truth is that slowly, through indulging in your bad habit, you lost touch with reality. You began doing more and more of it, slowly pushing the boundaries, until you got to the point where you no longer were able to make rational decision and made the biggest mistake of your life.

What it means for you, however, is a beginning of a new life. A life free of compulsion and dirty secrets. You might lose your job, but you will gain back your freedom. Empowered with realization of just how out of control your life got, you will be able to seek and receive help.

Over time you will slowly begin to unlearn some of your destructive habits. Over time your wife will learn to trust you again. Over time you will gain a new level of emotional maturity and be able to look at yourself in the mirror knowing that you might not be perfect, but that you are doing your best.

Welcome to the club Mr. Weiner. Our club of sex addicts in recovery may not be big, but it is growing. Join us, walk with us, and may be one day lead us. Your story may serve as a proof to the rest of the world of just how powerful sex addiction really is.