I just finished reading a book called "The Five Love Languages" and wanted to share what I've learned from it.
Basically the author says that every person has an "emotional tank" and when this tank gets empty people feel unhappy.
The book is mainly about people in relationships. Author writes that when people first fall in love, they experience an emotional high. They view their partner as perfect. This emotional love only lasts for 6 months to 2 years and after it is gone, the partners begin to see each other for who they really are.
He also writes that there are 5 different ways that people express and receive love:
-Acts of Service
-Gifts
-Touch
-Quality Time Together
-Words of Appreciation
He says that most of the people have 1 or 2 primary ways how they receive and give love. If they don't receive love in this particular way, their emotional tanks get empty and they feel unhappy.
Often times married people try to express love in one or two ways that are natural to them, while their partners, are expecting to receive love, and trying to transmit love in one or two ways that are natural to them.
For example a husband would work really hard to earn money, and fix things around the house (acts of service) thinking that this should show his wife how much he loves her.
While she would keep on saying that she "doesn't feel like he loves her" because her primary language of love is touch(warm hugs) and quality time together (or his undivided attention).
Author also suggest that in his 20 years as a family counselor he would witness again and again how marriages would come to life after partners would re-learn to express their love for each other in a way that they both understand.
Anyway, I really like this book, and highly recommend it.
P.S. Author says that one common mistake that men make is to assume that their primary language of love is touch just because they enjoy sex. He says it is natural for man to enjoy sex, but it is also very possible that touch is not their primary language of love. So unless you really enjoy hugging people, shaking hands and stuff like that, touch may not be your primary language.
How Long Does It Take To Recover From Porn Addiction?
One question people are commonly asking is "How long does it take to overcome porn addiction?"
There are really two stages to the process.
First stage is breaking out of the obsessive-compulsive cycle and that stage takes anywhere from 30 to 90 days. And the reason for it is because it takes about 30 to 90 days for a person to form a habit or to learn a new behavior and make it a habit.
Second stage of overcoming pornography addiction is relapse prevention, and this stage is an ongoing process throughout the rest of the person's life.
So while it only takes 30 to 90 days to stop compulsively watching pornography, it takes a lifelong effort and maintenance to prevent yourself from going back into your addiction.
There are really two stages to the process.
First stage is breaking out of the obsessive-compulsive cycle and that stage takes anywhere from 30 to 90 days. And the reason for it is because it takes about 30 to 90 days for a person to form a habit or to learn a new behavior and make it a habit.
Second stage of overcoming pornography addiction is relapse prevention, and this stage is an ongoing process throughout the rest of the person's life.
So while it only takes 30 to 90 days to stop compulsively watching pornography, it takes a lifelong effort and maintenance to prevent yourself from going back into your addiction.
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