Many people spend a lot of time trying to find “the” perfect method that will set them free.
The truth is there is no perfect method. Most methods are good, but none of them are perfect.
So what are we to do if there is no method that works 100%? How are we to beat our addiction?
The approach that worked (and is still working) for me is to use a combination of methods to help me break free.
Instead of trying one method, hoping that it will work, I decided to do everything possible at the same time, to help me overcome my addiction.
Here is a story that inspired me to get sober.
One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.
"One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."
"The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
If you feed your right wolf the rest will take care of itself.
What did I do to feed the right wolf? I did everything I could have thought at the time.
Prayed in the morning and at night (If you don't believe in God, simply replace prayer with a plan on how you're going to stay sober for that day)
Journal daily
ERP practice daily
Meditated daily (10 minutes of silencing my mind)
Exercised daily (Low impact cardio, usually a part of my ERP practice)
Ate healthy (3 meals and 2 snacks a day)
Stayed hydrated (8 glasses of water a day)
Got plenty of sleep (at least 8 hours)
I encourage you to commit to do a combination of positive things in your life on a daily basis. The more, the better. Some days you will do more, some days you will do less. But you need consistent systematic positive actions in your life in order to break free.
Until this day, if I find my life beginning to spin out of control, I revisit those items. I usually notice that I was skipping on all of them, so I re-commit to a systematic positive self care in my life. This approach never fails to bring me back.
In the next post, we are going to take a look at a powerful model that will help us understand how our beliefs affect our emotions.
Oh, and make sure to do your ERP Practice today!
4 comments:
I tried everything from meditation to sleeping it out to facing it to not coming any where near the computer and so far not so good. I hate those breathing exercises because I really put a lot of effort into those but did not feel any effect. I tried reading philosophy, I tried charity, chores...
I can never give up on myself but I dont know what to do.
I am sorry it didn't work for you Anonymous... My believe is that everybody has to find their own path. Sometimes it is a two steps forward one step back process. You might have made small improvements but did not notice them. May be you didn't I don't know.
Every recovery is one's own journey. That is why while I can share what work for me, it is not guarantee that you will have the same effect just by replicating my steps.
I would recommend trying out other programs and other approaches. Personally I would recommend trying a 12 step group, since it seems to work for many. But you sure have a lot of options these days.
Best of luck to you, and thank you for giving it a shot.
This is giving me hope, thanks you so much. Ive felt suicidal recently because of the build up of years of wanting to quit and not being able to. My addiction has negatively effected every aspect of my life. It's so bad now that my whole body aches after I binge and my mind is just gone. I was able to go 3 weeks but then I broke down and binged for 3 days. I almost think it would be better to masturbate without pornography every 3 days or so to release some pressure so I don't binge. What do you think? I know you advocate cold turkey but I can't see how I'll get by if I can't masturbate at all. I feel like I'll explode. Thanks again. His stuff is really helping.
Actually I only advocate for everybody else to find their own way.
I do know people who have learned healthy masturbation, and I don't think they are any less sober than the guys who don't do it at all.
Try it, see if it works for you.
Please visit our porn addiction forum to make sure that more people see your question and will be able to respond.
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