Sex Addiction Rehabs - Overview of 8 US Treatment Centers for Sex Addiction

Not many realize that compulsive sexual behavior can be an addiction, and that people struggling with such need help. But as high-profile celebrities and athletes admit to seeking treatment for this problem, interest in the facilities that provide the service has spiked.

There are a lot of options out there, but finding a program that suits your needs can be overwhelming. To get you started on the right track, here’s a quick guide to some of the prominent sex addiction treatment centers in the United States.

Sexual Recovery Institute

The Sexual Recovery Institute is one of the few outpatient therapy centers dedicated solely to sexual addiction. It was founded in 1995 by Robert Weiss, an acknowledged writer and professional in the field (he’s appeared in The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live and the Discovery Channel, to name just a few). Weiss trained under the wings of the renowned Dr. Patrick Carnes and was once a board member and committee chair of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health. His pool of therapists holds either master’s or doctoral degrees in counseling, psychology and social work, among other disciplines.

The services at SRI are as varied as it gets. Ideal for those residing in California or nearby, the recovery program starts with individual treatment sessions for a minimum of six to eight weeks. With the evaluation and treatment plan finalized, patients progress to group therapies. The 2-hour group sessions are held weekly, with 6 to 7 other participants, and will span nine months at the least. Participant couples can advance to a special healing and recovery group for eight 2-hour sessions per week. Spouses and partners of patients may also attend a weekly education program followed by support group meetings.

SRI also administers intensive five- and 10-day programs packed with daily therapies for those visiting the center. The "quick fix" provided by the former suits those who struggle with relatively manageable addictions. Cases that are more serious and require family involvement are tackled in the 10-day program. For immediate concerns, there’s the option of having two to four sessions over the phone, where assistance is limited to directing the caller to local resources that can provide more extensive support.

A unique component to the SRI program lineup is its Non-Violent Offender Treatment. The program lasts nine months to 2 years depending on the patient's needs. It is crafted to identify and eliminate triggers and patterns, institute changes, teach empathy and send patients on a path of recovery.

On top of all that, SRI conducts multimedia training seminars to guide agencies and organizations in their program development initiatives.

The Meadows Dakota

Backed by more than 35 years of experience, The Meadows is one of the most reputable addiction treatment centers in the United States, with support for sexual addiction and trauma provided by its in-patient facility in Dakota. This private, relaxing sanctuary can accommodate up to nine patients at a time.

The Meadows has built its credibility thanks in large part to referrals from alumni, therapists, medical practitioners and other facilities. And much of this praise points to the center’s intensive therapy approach. The program involves at least 15 treatment modalities, with trauma resolution, 12-step meetings and holistic healing at the core. Geared toward lifelong recovery, it goes beyond symptoms to address the fundamental problems patients are facing.

What makes The Meadows’ treatment plan even more compelling is that is based on input from world-famous experts (and authors). Maureen Canning, director of the Dakota facility, is a former board member of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health and was once president of the Arizona Council on Sexual Addiction. She is also a lecturer, level II MDR-trained therapist and certified hypnotherapist. The center’s two consultants, Pia Mellody and Peter Levine, are leading authorities in the field. In fact, Levine developed the natural approach of somatic experiencing.

Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services

Pine Grove was set up in 1984 as an in-patient treatment facility for adults. Since then, the Mississippi-based center has expanded to become one of the nation’s premiere campuses for psychiatric and addictive disorders. Reputed for the quality and breadth of its services, Pine Grove now offers in-patient, outpatient and residential care, and caters to adults, adolescents and even children.

Pine Grove’s sexual-addiction treatment program, Gentle Path, is carried out in a campus a few miles from the main facility. Dr. Patrick Carnes, an internationally recognized guru in the field, came up with the Gentle Path curriculum based on a 30-task model that emphasizes both individualized attention and group participation. The program starts off with a day or two of comprehensive evaluation followed by a six-week intensive treatment plan. It is gender-specific and includes individual and group therapies, and psycho-education. Patients diagnosed with other disorders are treated simultaneously. On top of all this, Pine Grove throws in a one-week Family Care Program and aftercare services. The entire process is facilitated by a multidisciplinary staff consisting of masters or doctoral-level trained clinicians and physicians certified by the American Society of Addiction Medicine.

Santé Center for Healing

The Santé Center for Healing first opened its doors in 1996, led by the brother-and-sister team of Deb and Rip Corley. Currently, it caters to individuals suffering from addictions, eating disorders and behavioral health issues.

For sex addicts, the Santé Center offers residential care and outpatient support. The program begins with an in-depth assessment to pinpoint needs and issues that will be addressed in the personalized treatment plan. Any co-occurring disorders that turn up will be treated simultaneously. Various requirements are laid down for recovery, including formulation of abstinence contract, psycho-education sessions, gender-specific therapy groups, and skill-building and relapse prevention courses. Another plus factor: all the in-house staff is trained in trauma resolution techniques, and motivational enhancement and dialectical behavior therapies.

KeyStone Center Extended Care Unit

The KeyStone Center is an expansive dually licensed facility for multiple types of addiction. At its Extended Care Unit, the focus is on sexual compulsivity and trauma. Founded in 1994 by Patrick Carnes, one of the most recognized experts in the field. The 16-bed ECU is housed in a Victorian mansion in suburban Philadelphia. This huge stone manor with stained glass windows and mahogany wainscoting was once a family home. The management has not added any amenities since.

The ECU environment is austere, the recovery program intense. Residents have daily household chores. For the actual treatment, there are activities lined up for each day of the week. Much of the time is spent on group therapies, which Carnes found effective in helping patients cope with inner struggles. Other requirements include individual counseling sessions and 12-step meetings. The minimum length of stay is four weeks.

To facilitate the healing process, the ECU also organizes an alumni weekend around fall each year. Through this gathering, graduates of the program get to celebrate their sobriety, share their experiences and participate in free workshops.

While it specializes in in-patient treatment, the ECU also offers an outpatient service via the Professional Assessment Center. The PAC is designed mainly for those facing sanctions due to a sexual offense determine if their behaviors fall in the realm of addiction.

Life Healing Center

The Life Healing Center provides in-depth, individualized treatment for sex, love and relationship addiction. Founded in 1993, it operates a residential facility in the hills of Santa Fe, Mexico.

Recovery at the Life Healing Center occurs in two phases. The first stage gets rid of outward manifestations via a structured program, controlled environment and external support. The second examines underlying causes, paving the way for long-term sobriety. The actual treatment plan is carried out in a gender-specific manner. The men’s program is patterned from Dr. Patrick Carnes’ Recovery Start Kit, with emphasis on the healing cycle. The women’s program follows the same basic principles but is tweaked to address the emotional and cultural challenges that affect specifically the female population. The set-up is quite refreshing considering that traditional sex addiction therapies were crafted for and conducted by men. Plus, an all-female environment (from the patients to the staff) better fosters interaction and consequently healing.

With the patient’s consent, the Life Healing Center can administer a family program as well. At the beginning, the program facilitates communication via phone. For the culmination, spouses, partners or relatives are invited to join patients for a multi-day experience on site.

Sierra Tucson

Founded in 1983, Sierra Tucson is licensed as a psychiatric hospital and as a behavioral health residential treatment center. Surrounded by a desert landscape and panoramic mountain, this 160-acre campus has an amenity-filled complex with recreational and fitness resources and walking trails. In its 139-bed living quarters, you’ll find rustic yet elegant lodges with a cozy lounge area, high ceilings, balconies and patios.

While the facility itself is inviting, the main draw to Sierra Tucson is its Program for Sexual and Trauma Recovery. PSTR reinforces a sense of community among patients with weekly group sessions that instill compassion, support and acceptance. Amid this, the staff remains attentive to the development of each participant, preparing individualized assignments and readings and even personalized nutrition and exercise plans. Plus, Sierra Tucson has a Family Program and Couple’s Workshop in place. These educational and therapeutic opportunities allow both parties to sort out their issues and establish an effective support system.

Candeo Can 

Candeo Can  is an online service designed for individuals looking for a flexible and affordable treatment program. At just $47 per month, you get everything you need to cope with sexual addition struggles on a private website. The program revolves around multimedia video training and accompanying interactive exercises. The first part of the training educates patients about their situation and how they can manage it via Candeo's work on the Human Decision System, which enables participants to better control their urges. The second half delves more into the why's and how's. Plus, there’s a personal dashboard that contains crisis and setback tools, a calendar and some journal space to facilitate recovery.

Each participant is assigned a coach to guide them through the treatment and track their progress. Candeo has also developed a complementary support and training program for loved ones who want to share in on the experience. An online discussion forum is accessible to those wanting to share stories and help others out. 

On the whole, the Candeo platform lets participants manage their own pace of recovery from the comforts of their own home. And more importantly, the site promises to maintain the subscriber’s anonymity (no requirement to submit one’s name).

The services offered by sex addiction treatment centers vary in more ways than one. So finding a program that matches your needs is key. It is important to consider the types of therapies available, the set up in place, and the philosophy being followed. But remember the facility and its staff can only set you on path – effectively completing the road to recovery is all up to you.

Thank You for Your Time! Course Summary Inside

We have reached the end of this course. I am very thankful for you taking time and reading everything I had to say.

I want to summarize everything that we've talked about up to this point, also to point you in the right direction so you can continue your journey of recovery.

Summary

In our course, we've talked about:

· Chemical Changes that Take Place Inside an Addict's Mind

· The Addictive Cycle and Point of No Return

· Triune Brain Model and How it Affects Our Decision Making

· A Small Thing that You Can Do Every Day to Strengthen Your Thinking Brain (Journaling, Delaying Gratification, Delaying Your Actions, and Breathing)

· Exposure and Response Prevention Technique

· Sexual Recovery Plan

· A Strategy of Using as Many Different Techniques as You Can at the Same Time to Break Free

· A-B-C-D-E Model (Activating Event, Belief, Consequence, Debate, Exercise)

· Some of the Most Common Beliefs that Kept me Trapped

· Mini-ERP and How to Deal with Small Triggers

· Understanding Why Some Days are more Triggering than Others

· An Exercise to Help us Create a Vision for the Rest of Our Lives

· Introduction to 12 Steps Groups

· "God's Will" or "Our Stronger Self" Concept

· Filtering and Accountability Software

· How Expectations Affect Our Quality of Life

What to Do Next?

Below, I am going to outline some of my suggestions to help you maintain your recovery.

Establish a Daily Routine

This could include all of the things that we've talked about before

· Healthy Eating

· Proper Hydration

· Proper Rest

· Exercising

· Meditation

· Journaling

· Making Phone calls to Friends in Recovery

· Going to Religious or Spiritual Groups

· Anything Else You Can Think of that is Healthy

I would like to recommend one book that is a great help in my Daily Practice. It’s called Answers in the Heart. It has short passages for every day of the year, and it helps me to get my brain in the right mindset every morning.

Social Support

Get actively involved in a social group. I would highly recommend a 12 steps program, but if it doesn't work for you there is plenty of other options that you can turn to. It could be a religious group, Toastmasters group, a men's or women's club. All of this will work, but the groups have to meet at least once a week, and there has to be a lot of new people around you.

Use this group to practice your social skills. I know you probably don't feel like doing it, but that is exactly why you should do it! True changes only happen when we get out of our comfort zone.

My sponsor in 12 steps asked me to commit to going to at least 3 meetings a week, and calling 2 people every day. When I asked him how long I had to do it for, he said until you want to do it.

My sponsor was right, when I got over the social anxiety and gained experience of interacting with others, social groups became fun.

Reading

Reading really is the key. We live in a world where information is greatly available. If you have a problem with anything, chances are somebody already had a similar problem, figured it out, and wrote a book about it.

And I don't just mean books related to addiction.

Now that you are no longer completely blinded by your addiction, you will begin to notice other problems popping up in your life, that you previously were too busy to pay attention to.

Instead of trying to figure them out yourself, try to get a few good books on the subject, and read them first. Chances are it will make your life a lot easier.

I am going to recommend one book to you that I think will be very beneficial.

The Practicing Mind

I have talked about this book but barely scratched the surface. I love this book, and it was very helpful for me. Do not get the audio book though. This book was meant to be read not listened.

Other Recovery Programs

1. Recovery Nation

This is a free web-based program. It was created by a sex addict in recovery who already passed away, but the site is maintained by his followers. It is a good recovery spot on the Internet.

2. Candeo Can

This program costs $47 per month, and it covers a lot of the similar material already enclosed in this course. But it does so in video lectures, going in a little bit more detail, and the program is created by real doctors. If you can afford the payment, I would recommend it as a good way to reinforce some of the basics already learned in this course.

3. 12 Steps Groups

I know I already mentioned it in the social groups section, but 12 steps also have a program of recovery aspect to it. It is free and it is in person. You get to choose a sponsor who has been sober for a very long time. And it is very insightful. It is a 2 in 1 deal (social and recovery), and I highly recommend it.

That is it :) This is the end of the course.

Thank you so much for your time! If you want to stay updated, make sure to sign up for my email list.

Meanwhile, I wish you all of the best in your new life!

Your friend in recovery,

Alex

Previous | Home

Candeo Can – Overcoming Pornography Addiction - Summary and Review

Click here, if you want to skip the summary and go straight to the reviews.

In this article, I am going to show you why the Candeo Can online program has completely revolutionized my personal recovery. I have learned more from this program in two months than over a year of one-on-one counseling. I am now a year and a half free from compulsive masturbation, and 6 months free from purposely looking at any form of pornographic material. 

Let me give you a brief overview of how Candeo Can training course is organized, and then later provide a detailed summary of all the material included in the course.

Course Review

Candeo Can has two main modules that you work from: your dashboard and the training room. But your browser will show many more compartments as popup windows, as can be seen on the image below. (Click on the image to see it in high resolution.)

The dashboard is where you first land on the site. From there, you can communicate with your coach and Candeo Can support people. You can also use it to write your journal, review your personal motives, access your emergency lifelines, and enter the training room. The training room is where you spend most of your time.

Candeo Can consists of 10 levels, each one taking approximately 1-2 hours to complete. Each level has exercises that you must complete in order to proceed forward, as well as homework assignments that must be done over a defined period of time ranging from 1 day to 1 week.

The best part about Candeo Can is that you receive the most updated information from three of the leading experts in the field of pornography addiction: Dr. Randall F. Hyde, Bernell L. Christensen, Ph.D., and Mark B. Kastleman.

In addition, all information is presented as video lectures, which makes learning fun and an efficient process.

Below is the summary of the material covered in the Candeo Can program. This serves two purposes: as a good preview for interested people and a way for people who have already completed the program to refresh their knowledge—a good review. A large portion of this material is from the lesson summary provided at the end of each level, but I have added my own comments wherever I felt it was necessary.

If you have a question about the program or any of the techniques covered below, please post it in the comment area below, and I would love to get back to you on that. Meanwhile, take a look at the summary below.

Summary of the Included Material

Week 1: Your Brain and Addiction

• How your brain forms habits and addictions.
• The M.A.P. (Motive Awareness Practice) process to change any habit and break out of addiction.
  
• How a powerful motive (WHY?) is the fuel for changing any behavior.
  
• How distorted thinking—overpredicting pleasure, forgetting the pain, minimizing consequences (i.e., it is not that bad), complacency after a period of abstinence—gets in the way of positive change.
  
• How a clear picture of what will happen if you don’t change, can help you. How a vivid vision of your wonderful life free of pornography is the most powerful motive of all.
  
• How the daily review of your Dream Board and Life Creed is essential to your recovery.

Week 2: Why is Pornography Addictive?

• The typical profile of someone who gets caught up in pornography and other sexual addictions. (Intelligent, sensitive, spiritual, weakness = strength)
  
• The most common falsehoods and myths about sexual addiction.
  
• A clear understanding of how you developed your sexual addiction—How did I get here?
  
• The differences between “healthy sexual intimacy” and sexual addiction.
  
• Replacement for real intimacy (shyness, social phobia) – acts of kindness
  
• Evolution stages of addiction (excitement and pleasure, self medication, replacement for real intimacy, control and release phase)
  
• How the Funnel of Sexual Process operates inside a healthy marriage relationship vs. the viewing of pornography and other sexual addiction behaviors.
  
• Why pornography use is a “drug addiction” and the motivations for using this drug.
  
• Triggers
  
  • BOREDOM
    
  • LONELINESS
  • ANGER
  • FEAR
  • STRESS
  • FATIGUE (being tired or burned out)
    
• Identify how your addiction started
  
• Acts of Kindness

Week 3: What is Driving Your Addiction?

• Fear and avoidance are at the heart of your sexual addiction.
  
• The more you fear, fight and avoid sexual thoughts, the more intense and intrusive they become, quickly evolving into an obsession that dominates your mind.
  
• Seeking relief from being at war with incessant, intrusive sexual thoughts, you act out your compulsion (pornography, masturbation and other sexual addiction behaviors).
  
• After acting out, you feel intense guilt, shame, regret and the like, which increase your fear and avoidance of sexual thoughts, starting the cycle all over again. This is called the Obsessive Compulsive Cycle or OCD.
  
• With each attempt and failure to shut out intrusive sexual thoughts, the cycle deepens until you are trapped in the OCD Cycle.
  
• Avoidance, mental extremes and exaggeration are emotional, psychological and spiritual death! It is the extreme that entraps.
  
• The advice to “just quit thinking about it,” “avoid it,” or “get it out of your mind” has actually deepened your addiction! This is the worst advice there is!
  
• Rather than being afraid, avoiding and running from sexual temptation—face it and deal with it reasonably, realistically and normally. You will have to “think” your way out of your addiction.
  
• Just like other “drugs,” as you stop using pornography and engaging in other sexual addiction behaviors, you may experience withdrawal symptoms. Don’t worry. Once your nervous system calms down, you will find that normal life is exciting and stimulating again—you will be “high on life” again.

Week 4: How to Break Free

• Running from your fears only intensifies them—you must face your fears to overcome them.
  
• To break out of your OCD Cycle, use “Face-it (Recognize you are entering the cycle through addictive behavior), Replace-it (Acknowledge the true meaning of what is happening and what you really want to do in your life), Connect (Talk to a live person to bring you back to reality).”
  
• Consistently use Scheduled and Real-Life Practice to rebuild your brain and create new healthy circuitry.
  
• Record your Temptations and Statements of Truth in your own voice and then listen to them every chance you have.
  
• Adding “Connect” as a third step to your Real-Life Practice will greatly accelerate your journey to freedom from addiction.

Week 5: Re-Create Your Healthy Brain

• Every time you practice, you are following the Success M.A.P. that changes any behavior, habit or addiction.
  
• Your recovery success depends on your ability to “raise your level of awareness”.
  
• Brain cravings for stimulation can only be sustained for so long; you just have to seek relief at a certain point.
  
• Set reminders
  
• Practicing works because it follows the “ABCD Model” and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. (A – activating event, stimulus; B – believe, how should I respond, habit; C – Consequence, result of your beliefs = feelings and emotions. B is what happens between A and C, it determines your quality of life. D – Debate, logical, truthful debate with yourself to form a new belief, which will begin to bring positive consequences)
  
• PRACTICE
  
• Veto power over automatic processes (Debate). You have mastered many skills over your lifetime, and you will master your recovery skills.
  
• Use it or lose it, your old brain circuitry atrophy (but it will always be there, and can re-grow back)
  
• Once an addict, always an addict is a lie!
  
• Consistent simple choices will set you free.
  
• You can only break free by creating a new brain, not using your old one. Do it through practice.

Week 6: Be Ready Next Time Craving Hits

• If you are overwhelmed by “the wave,” you need to take emergency action immediately!
  
• It can be easy to forget the pain and consequences of your addiction and keep taking the “limbic leap”.
  
• To “reconnect” your frontal lobes where logic and reason reside, “play the movie to the bitter end.”
  
• Mental error, imagining how exciting it would be to do ...
  
• A highly effective Emergency Lifeline is “My letter to myself.” You can use this to keep yourself from going into the funnel.
  
• Use powerful Lifeline Symbols to override the pleasure center of your brain and connect to the people and things that really matter to you.
  
• Identify and invite two Emergency Lifeline People to be available when you are in a crisis.
  
• Practice calling these individuals each week so you will be prepared when the “real thing” happens.
  
• When you find yourself overwhelmed by the urge to act out your addiction, follow the 4 Steps for Emergency Action!
  1. Get your body moving.
  2. Gratitude Breath (Breathe and think about things in life that you are thankful for)
  3. Call your emergency lifeline person and review your lifeline symbols.
  4. Go connect to real people, move out of isolation.
  
• If you have a slip, don’t waste one minute on shame and self-flogging. Assess, make adjustments and immediately begin moving forward again.
  
• You are not perfect. Learning evolves in steps. Work, practice commitment and persistence.
  
• Be a battle strategist: learn, adjust and move on.

Week 7: Healthy Sexuality in Your Life

• If you interpret women as “erotic,” it’s because you’ve made them that way through repetitive thinking. You can make them different by altering your thoughts.
  
• Knowing the “whole truth” about the women of pornography forever changes your perception of it.
  
• You can be a great “brother” to all girls and women.
  
• Sexual arousal is “creative power” manifesting itself in you. You can direct it for tremendous good!
  
• Making love or having sex should be re-labeled to “Expressing Full Commitment,” which is only possible in committed relationship.
  
• You can move sexuality to a much higher level.

Week 8: Developing Healthy Relationships

• We all crave intimacy—we need to love and be loved—we need deep connection.
  
• People often use sexual addiction to fill the “intimacy void”.
  
• Trying to fill the need for human intimacy with pornography is like trying to continually fill a bucket with holes in it.
  
• You’ve got to be your own “best friend” and stop self-betrayal.
  
• Love yourself unconditionally first, and watch your capacity to love others blossom!
  
• You must become very aware of your “self-talk”.
  
• You can connect with others in simple ways that make all the difference to you and them.
  
• You can start to heal damaged relationships just by directing your thoughts about others.

Week 9: Get Addicted to Healthy Life!

• Simple Addiction is about stimulating the brain’s pleasure centers.
  
• Dopamine and Endorphins can be used in healthy and destructive ways.
  
• Taking the Limbic Leap into the Funnel disconnects the Frontal Lobes of the brain and puts the Limbic System in control—pleasure over logic and reason.
  
• The brain quickly habituates and needs greater stimulation to achieve the same level of pleasure.
  
• Certain situations or emotions can trigger your sexual addiction behaviors.
  
• The key is to recognize your triggers early, before you are in a crisis.

Week 10: Back to the Basics

• Internet pornography and other sexual addiction behaviors are powerful eroto-toxins. Your brain needs time to “re-sensitize” to the simple pleasures of life.
  
• Healthy pleasure outlets should be an essential and regular part of your daily life.
  
• Recognize the “early signs” that you’re BLASTed (Bored, Burned Out, Lonely, Anxious, Afraid, Angry, Stressed, Tired) and implement healthy outlets.

Once again, thank you for reading and I hope this information was helpful. To learn more about the program and to join thousands of others who have found new freedom from their addiction, sign up for a free mini course at CandeoCan.com .

I am a Pornography Addict, Do I have ADD?

Like many addicts, who were able to break out of their addictive cycle I’ve experienced a tremendous improvement in my life. My personal relationships, my daily commitments, and my self respect all have improved.

Stopping my addiction, however, was only the first of many steps. Shortly after I’ve stopper relying on my addiction to deal with everything that  went wrong in my life, I began to notice all kinds of issues rising up to the surface. I now had a lot of free time, so there should have been nothing getting in a way of my success in school, and yet I found myself being unable to concentrate. I tried connecting to others, but found myself feeling shy, and embraced, not knowing what to say. And I began to notice a whole list of discomforts taking place in my life. I began to think that there were some other undealt problems that I was now being aware of. Perhaps all of this was just a consequences of my addiction, but I’ve couldn’t help but notice that a lot of the symptoms that I was experiencing were very similar to the description of ADD. Therefore I approached this issue in my traditional manner - I found one of the best book available on the subject and read it.

The book that I decided to go with this time was Healing ADD (Sponsored Link) by Daniel Amen, partially because the book had great reviews, and partially because I’ve seen some other Dr. Amen works before, and was in favor of his approach and presentation methods. He started out the book explaining that, in his practice he found there were not one but five different types of ADD, based on the different areas of the brain being affected. Than he provided a self guided test that would helped identify if you had ADD, and if yes what kind. Here are some of the items that I’ve scored the highest on:

• Easily distracted
• Difficulty sustaining attention span
• Trouble listening to others
• Procrastination
• Trouble with time (always late, underestimates time required to complete a task)
• Tired, sluggish, and slow moving
• Talks excessively
• Implosive in words and actions (doesn’t think it through)
• Interrupts others
• Worries excessively
• Strong tendency to get locked into negative thoughts
• Tendency towards compulsive behaviour
• Needs to things be done in a certain way, or gets really upset
• Misinterprets comments as negative when they are not
• Has a history of head injury
• Has low energy
• Socially Isolated
• Frequent feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, or excessive guilt
• Chronic low self esteem
• Has periods of increased talkativeness
• Periods of increased impulsivity

As a result of this test my dominant ADD type was inattentive ADD, which is different from standard ADHD, and does not include the hyperactivity part.

Dr. Amen goes on to explain various types of ADD in depth by providing brain scans of actual patients, as well as sharing their stories. He also recommends professional diagnosis and medical treatment in combination with other tools used to minimize the impact of ADD on person's life. He makes an argument that any form of self medication, even by the use of legal stimulants like coffee and tobacco, is much more damaging to the brain than the prescribed medication. Yet, like many people, I am not exactly ready to start popping pills even if I were to get officially diagnosed with ADD.

This thought brought me to a new conclusion, I don’t really need to get diagnosed with ADD to get the help that I need. Since the only difference that psychiatrist can provide is medication, and I am not interested in medication, there is no need in the official diagnoses. But since I do have many of the described symptoms, it is logical to assume that trying all the other, “non-intrusive” approaches that are used by ADD patients could also improve my life. Therefore I decided to concentrate only on the “organic” solution to my “ADDish” problems.

Dr.Amen identifies 3 areas of support that need to be worked on to improve lives of ADD patients: Biological, Psychological, and Social.

Biological:

• Eliminate Anything Toxic – i.e. drugs, caffeine, nicotine
• Protect your head from injuries ( makes ADD worse)
• Dietary Intervention - Reduce simple carbs, high protein high vegetable diet (Note: There are different dietary recommendations for each time of ADD provided in the book.)
• Intense Aerobic Exercise
• Reduce exposure to any form of Video and Computer Games
• Multivitamins (Note: Once again author only suggest it in combination with medication prescribed by professional)
• Sleep Strategies

Psychological

• Correcting Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANT’s)
• Breaking up Negative Believe Patterns
• Focused Breathing – the only subconscious bodily function that we can control consciously
• Self Hypnosis

Social

• Dr. Amen provide numerous resources for people with ADD in his book, I believe that I am able to receive similar support from my 12 steps group.

ANT’s here is the list of the Automatic Negative Thoughts that ADD patients should be aware of:

• “All or nothing” thinking -. If I get C on this test I am the worst student ever
• “Always” thinking – She is always yelling at me
• Focusing on the negative – Your thoughts only see bad and ignore any good
• Fortune-telling – Other people WILL laugh at me or think I am stupid
• Mind reading – Those people are mad at me. They don’t like me.
• Thinking with your feelings – I feel that I am stupid, therefore I am stupid
• Guilt Beating – I have to do homework, I must never lie. Whenever we hear must or have to we automatically don’t want to do it
• Labelling – Jerk, nerd, spoiled brat
• Blame others – It wasn’t my fault, how was I supposed to know

After reading this book, I am even more suspicious that even though many people suffer from many different things and get many different diagnoses, at the end there is a one general way of life that can help majority of the people. Therefore, even though I don’t think that I have ADD, healthy lifestyle,  and healthy choices will help me to do my personal best.

Treating Pornography Addiction - Summary

The following is a summary of “Treating Pornography Addiction, The Essential Tools For Recovery” by Dr. Kevin B. Skinner.

Chapter 1 – The Creation of Pornography Addiction

• Starts at young age through early exposure and early sexual experience
• Controlling or uninvolved parents
• Loneliness and Isolation
• Learning form unhealthy relationship model (when parents don’t get along)

Chapter 2 - Understanding Levels of Pornography Addiction

• Non Clinical Definition of an Addiction
  • Failure to resist impulses to use
  • Increasing time/ frequency of use
  • Ongoing and unsuccessful efforts to stop
  • Feeling pre occupied prior to use
  • Neglecting obligations
  • Continuing to use, Ignoring consequences
  • Tolerance build-up - need to see harder stuff, for longer periods of time
  • Purposely cancelling other activities, to spend time viewing pornography
  • Withdrawal symptoms when trying to stop
    • Dizziness
    • Body aches
    • Headache
    • Sleeplessness
    • Restlessness
    • Anxiety
    • Mood swings
    • Depression
• 7 Levels of Addiction
  • Don’t think if either addicted or not, think how much or how little person is addicted, i.e. following levels:
    1. Mild exposure – once or twice a year, no affect on regular life
    2. Pornography use does not indicate addiction – occasional looking at pornography with increased interest
    3. Signs of trouble – person looks about once a month, usually tries to avoid, but occasionally urge get so strong that cannot be controlled, and person gives in
    4. Individual notices increased sexual fantasies, and attempts to control them, which results in stronger withdrawal symptoms
    5. Pornography impacting day to day living with significant portion of the day spend thinking about pornography
    6. Pornography dominates most of the day to day lives, affecting work, school, and personal relationships
    7. Pornography and acting out consumes most of individuals time, leaving him feeling completely out of control
• Assessing the Consequences
  • Emotional – Mood swings, depression, anger, anxiety etc
  • Relationships/Family/Social Life – Spouse, Children, Family, Friends, Co-Workers
  • Spiritual – Feeling of being lost, wasting life, missing a purpose
  • Financial – Wasting money, failing to earn, loosing jobs
  • Work or School – decrease in performance, feeling of dissatisfaction, life being out of balance
  • Withdrawal symptoms
  • Sexuality – decrease sex drive, inability to maintain healthy intimacy

Chapter 3 – Why pornography is addictive and how to deactivate addictive behaviour

• Viewing pornography = brain produces feel good chemicals
• Developing of Addiction Cycle
• Vulnerable time – Home alone, tired, stressed out, lonely
• Stimulus(Trigger) – Seeing/Sensing something sexual
• Emotion – Curiosity, Excitement
• Thought – I wonder, What If, Why Not?
• Chemical Release – Body and Mind begins to change
• Body Language – Heart Rate goes up, Dilated eyes, Tight Muscles
• Second Thought, The Battle – I really shouldn’t , but it would feel so good.
• Hypothesis/Believe – I wonder if it will ever go away? I can’t help it, so why try?
• Response -  Most likely giving in
• Remorse – What have I done?
• Deactivating the Cycle
• Learn to recognize the venerable time, and avoid anything that could be a trigger (i.e. Don’t get on computer when tired and home alone)
• Catch yourself in the beginning of the cycle in Stimulus-Emotion-Though part, before the chemical reaction begins. Do something radically different, get out of the house(exercise, go to the store, go see a friend).
• Developing a Game Plan
• Write down the behaviours you want to change
• Write down the reaction sequence to the behaviour you want to change
• Write down the specific changes you will make in each of the early stages of the cycle (Changing your thoughts and actions)
• Keep revising game plane after each reaction sequence runs to determent if it was effective or not.

Chapter 4 – Power of believes

• Focus on the root of the problem – identify unhealthy believes
• I am alone and nobody understands me
• Nobody has a problem like me
• I deserve what I get since I am not strong enough to quit
• I am a bad person
• Nobody will want me
• Challenging unhealthy believes
• Identify Believe (Not as easy as its sounds, dig deep, try to verbalize what you are thinking) – i.e. One more time won’t hurt
• Identify Reality – i.e. I’ve been saying this for year, one more time will hurt, and it will hurt bad.
• Realize that you have ability to find a solution inside of you
• Learn more about addiction
• Develop a game plan
• Reach out to others for help
• Change lifestyle
• Use your own values to change – Realize what is really important to you in your life, and use this to help you change. I.e. My dreams of having a wife and a child will come true.
• Think progress and not results – Change is gradual process. Concentrate on consistency and not on perfection. Relapses will most likely happen. Learn from it, adjust your game plan and move on. Look back to judge the progress that you’ve made.

Chapter 5 – The beginning steps to change for good

• Every change involves six stages
• Pre-contemplation
• Contemplation
• Preparation
• Taking Action
• Relapse Prevention
• Pre-contemplation – Addiction has no effect on person’s life
• Addict does not think that his behaviours present problem,
• Addict does not realize how hard it would be to stop
• Our society doesn’t help
• Addict thinks his behaviour is normal.
• Addict cannot stay in pre-contemplation stage for ever
• Contemplation – Addiction begins to have a noticeable effect on addicts life
• Addict realizes that change is needed.
• Fear
• Being discovered by a spouse
• Loosing a Job
• Fear of God
• Social Embarrassment
• Breaking the Law
• Duty
• Love

Chapter 6 – Preparing to change for good

• Defining Sobriety – Distinguishing healthy sexual behaviours (which are completely acceptable ) from unhealthy ones.
• Defining Boundaries
• i.e. Don’t get online when alone
• i.e. Don’t watch TV alone after 11pm
• i.e. Don’t drive down streets that have adult material
• Improve your boundaries as you learn more about yourself
• Establishing Goals
• Short term – I will fight this one day at the time, Only use computer for specific purpose
• Mid-range – Learn as much as I can about addiction. Become an expert on my relapse patters. Find new relationships to avoid social isolation.
• Long term – Remain porn free for 180 days. Develop a new skill. Help others with similar problem. Develop a healthy intimate relationship with a spouse.
• Identifying your support team – Friends, Family, Church, Support Groups
• Performing fire drills – ask your support person to go through a scenario where you play out what could happen during your addictive cycle. Practice this often so when the addictive cycle takes place, you have a new response to implement.

Chapter 7 – Taking action and maintenance, the behaviours to change for good

• Taking Action
• Awareness
• Recognize what is happening to you
• Identify the source
• Predict the outcome
• Sticking to Game plan
• Things to be aware of
• Emotions
• Self-Image
• Fantasizing
• Thoughts
• Maintenance – Follows successful action stage
• Associated with feeling confident and empowered by early accomplishment
• Overcoming addiction is a marathon and not a race
• Realize that danger of relapse is still a reality
• Catch relapses quickly before old habits sink it

Chapter 8 – The profile of those most likely to relapse

• Keeping Secrets – avoided by:
• Accountability partner
• Practice staying honest
• Limited Relationship connection – avoided by:
• Increase your compassion for others
• Develop positive communication skills
• Learn to share emotions
• Practice
• Chronic Conflict with Others – avoided by:
• Learn to look for solutions, and not for problems
• Try to see things from other persons perspective
• Develop relationships with positive people
• Living for intense experiences ( Drugs, Gambling, Sex, Risky Sports, Overeating) – avoided by:
• Exercise
• Spirituality
• Learning new skills
• Serving others
• Developing healthy relations
• Leaving treatment prematurely – avoided by:
• Read books
• Attend groups
• Keep in touch with counsellor
• Stay close to accountability partner
• Inadequate preparation – questions to determent if you are ready
• Did you learn how to break isolation?
• Can you survive withdrawal?
• Have you learned how to deal with negative emotions?
• Did you review your activation sequence?
• Did you develop a solid plan?
• Do you have an accountability partner?
• Ignoring emotional issues
• Things to watch out for
• Curiosity
• Need for excitement
• Stress
• Anger
• Boredom
• Loneliness
• Worry
• Fear
• Irritation
• Steps to deal with emotions
• Do not ignore your emotions
• Evaluate your thoughts and feelings
• Recognize underlying emotion
• Understanding will bring relieve
• Try to understand other peoples emotions

Chapter 9 – Relapse prevention, a tool to use in recovery

• Journaling is not writing your life story. It is an invaluable tool for recovery. It is used to monitor progress, work through the issues, identify trends, and make appropriate changes. Here are a few guidelines to follow:
• Journal needs to be private. You need to be able to write down anything you want, and not be afraid that others might read it.
• You should be as honest as you possibly can
• You should discuss your emotions (happy, sad, tired)
• Don’t stop to edit, write everything as is. Let it all out.
• At the end of days entry, review what you have learned and summarize the result
• Identify behaviours that you want to change as a result of your writing
• As times goes on, go back and review how you are progressing and write down achievements that you have made.

Chapter 10 – Living the lifestyle that leads to recovery

• Commitment to integrity
• No more secrets
• Being emotionally honest
• Being the same in public as you are in private
• Taking a full responsibility for everything that takes place in your life
• Valuing self and showing compassion for others
• All people, including self, are of an infinite worth
• Behaviours are mostly learned and linked to inner believes
• Bad behaviours are almost always symptoms of some deeper problems
• Commitment to growth
• Job promotion
• Increased family interaction
• Enrolment in social events
• Improving grades
• Exercising
• Commitment to trusting yourself
• Commitment to understanding your own emotions
• Spirituality
• The joy of living the new lifestyle

May Gob bless you in your journey!

Note: This summary is not designed to replace the actual reading, but rather to provide readers with an easy way to review and retain the content. If you have not read the book yet, you can always purchase a copy here.

Recommended Recovery Resources

1. Reading
2. Audiobooks
3. Online Support Groups
4. 12 Step Groups
5. Non 12 Step's Groups
6. Software

Recommended Reading

	Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes This is THE book by Dr. Carnes on sex addiction. If you are new to the subject, get this book first. Many public libraries now carry a copy.
	Treating Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery This book is the number one search result on Amazon.com for pornography addiction, and there is a good reason for it. It was not made to teach people more about the pornography addiction; instead it provides simple steps and tools that can be followed from the beginning of your recover to the end. This is truly is a great and simple book
	The Drug of the New Millennium - The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use by Mark B. Kastleman Unlike other books listed here, this book takes a deeper look into the neurological processes that take place in the brain of a porn addict. The material from that book was quoted in one of my other posts titled Pornography - The Visual Drug and you can take a look at it, if you would like more information.
	Kill the Craving: How to Control the Impulse to Use Drugs and Alcohol by Joseph Santoro This book was design with alcohol and drug addicts in mind, but it provided me with a great tool to break out of my obsessive compulsive cycle. Word of warning, if you are going to use the techniques outlined in the book to treat internet or pornography addiction make sure to visualize your trigger instead of looking at the actual image like the book suggests.
	The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play by Dr. Neil Fiore I personally have found that struggling with procrastination was one of the major reasons that I felt down and depressed. It seemed that I just couldn't get myself to do anything, and would use any means to escape reality and feelings of guilt and responsibility that came with it. This book helped me a lot, and I am still going back to it every day to learn more about some of the reasons why I would procrastinate, and I manage to learn something new every time.

Audiobooks

	Joe and Charlie Big Book study - Recorded in 1998 Joe and Charlie are two Alcoholics who have been sober for over 30 years. It also appears that their overall lives have been in order. Joe and Charlie are strong believers in the 12 steps program. Joe and Charlie are funny, and they were able to get sober and stay sober, and helped hundreds of others do the same. They do not have the solution to all problems, but it is an interesting audiobook nevertheless. And it is free.
	The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous Once again, this is classic of every addict. There are numerous 12 steps groups exist for almost any addiction. I couldn't get myself to read the book at first but  I read it at a later time. But listening to a free audiobook seemed like a better option.

Online Support Groups

Recovery Nation This is an online group designed to help people struggling with sex, love, and pornography addictions. It is a free resource.

Candeo Can Recovery Program This is a paid online training program co-authored by Mark Kastleman and two other PH.D's in psychology. They do offer a lot of free resources on their website including podcasts and a free mini course.

Daily Strength This is a great website that has a support group for literally every known and unknown problem related to the both mental and physical healthcare. It is a great place to get started, get anonymous advice and support,  and stay current on the most recent issues.

Non 12 Steps Groups

Smart Recovery S.M.A.R.T. stands for Smart Management and Recovery Training, and it uses cognitive based approach to change human behaviors.

Software

K9 Web Protection This website offers a free fully featured web filter. You can set it up to block certain sites based on keywords or category, it records every website that you've visited, and is a great tool to stay honest in the confidential world of the internet. It is better to have somebody password protect it for you, so you will not be able to change the settings when tempted.

Covenant Eyes This website offers both accountability software and filter. I only use acountability software, because I needed to install it on my work computer. I enjoy relative freedom that my work requires, while at the same time I know I can stay accountable for my actions. First 30 days are free, and it is only $7.99 per month after that.

What Our Readers Say

This chapter just made me want to continue, I wouldn't label myself an addict, but I do feel that it is now time for me to put that stage of my life behind me and move on,and i believe this will help, looking forward to reading on. Thanks again.
Anonymous

Thanks you so much for making this site and proving the information for free. It has changed my life.
Anonymous

I really liked your course it's really nice and I felt that you are true good friend that I hope that we meet one day.
Aly

I like your course and the information and links that you added. I think it is valuable, and would recommend it to anyone struggling for recovery. I believe you have some very good and effective material.
Anonymous

There's a wealth of free info avail on this site.
Anonymous

Thanks for this site from the bottom of my heart. I am trying to be understanding and a friend to my husband as we work through this and it is such a hard complicated situation.
Anonymous

I have been following the suggestions on this site and it works well. I have not looked at any porn for 2 weeks and slowly getting my brain to re-wire. The suggestions here work well. I am doing other practical things and so far so good!
Thank you for the information. Very useful.
Anonymous

You are very dumb if you don't take this Free online Course!

SO MUCH INFORMATION! SO MUCH MIND FOOD!
IT IS THE FIRST PROCESS OF RENEWING YOUR MIND
AND TRANSFORMING YOU TOO THE RIGHT DIRECTION!
Mr. Resurreccion

I respect your efforts. I have saved your 23 articles recovery course and I am reading an article each day. You have helped me gain insights and for that i am utterly thankful :).
Muhammad

This is the story of my life. I have been addicted to porn for 6 years.. I am hoping to break the habit before it gets more serious.
Anonymous

Thanks I have only read the first couple of pages and it is helping to understand what is going on. Porn is really ruining my health, marriage, friendships, and life. But maybe I can piece it back together now before it is too late! Thank you!
Anonymous

This is so dead on! Just reading this gives me enough understanding to see why it is hurtful to myself and enough to quit. I anticipate what the next episodes bring.
Anonymous

This is a gold mine of freedom, I cant thank you enough!
Anonymous

I never though that porn addiction is real, but after reading the info on this site I now truly understand it. This site is beyond awesome and amazing... it really explains what and why I am going through right now.
Anonymous

Great I'm feeling this is exactly what I need I hope that I keep on reading every word in this site.
Anonymous

You are providing such amazing resources here. I have read Out of the Shadows and it didn't offer advice and techniques this effective. Thank you a million times over! I need my life back, I need my strength back. This website is a godsend!
Anonymous

just reading this makes me want to cry out of frustration, hope, sadness, and relief... I often wondered if my porn addiction created a attention disorder in me. After trying to quit for 19 years, I silently wondered if I'd have a heart attack from abusing my body so much. I know God loves me, but I hate myself-- I had given up hope of quitting, instead thinking I'd suffer the rest of my life. I will try the ERP-- and prayer, God bless you.
Anonymous

Alex, you are amazing. This... THIS... is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. Ever. I am young, and inexperienced, truly, only a little over sixteen. It's been three or four years off and on for me, and a friend and I have had similar struggles. He found this site, and sent it to me, and... I cannot thank you enough.
Anonymous

Thanks for really explaining how it works, and providing us with ways to work against it. I've been to a few sites where they said they could help but just downloading this program to help stop it, but it never works. I hope this will help me.
Anonymous

I'm posting again lol... I'm just so impressed by everything especially this page so far. i'm really picky with finding a solution. this website material seems spot on.
Anonymous

You know that this course will not cure you; though it will surely inform you of your own nature, the addiction (the enemy if you will) and weapons which can be used to fight off the enemy.
Most importantly; this brief course will prepare you for further work; both professional/ group work and your own private, personal acceptance of the reality of addiction, the responsibility to take control, and the courage to take the next step.
Mark

Wow I love this website, helps me so much!
Anonymous

First it is free! Second, I really like your openess. I could relate to a lot of the past experiences you shared. If felt connected right away. Knowing that someone who went through the same thing as me was able to conquer his addiction, it gives me hope. Also I like how you share ideas without any pretention of having THE answer. You just share what you have learned and invite the reader to take whatever is useful and reject the rest.
Jean

I stumbled upon your story, and for the past 4 hours I have been reading every single word of your experience.
Anonymous

Thank you for your time and effort in putting this course together. I have buried my head in the sand over the last few years with regards to my addiction. It was great to hear from someone so open and honest who is controlling their addiction and living life to the full. I really appreciate your help. I am now able to study more effectively, have a better relationship, feel better about myself and seem to have started to escape the vicious cycle I got myself into.
Robin