Before you hit the back button, let me tell you that what I am about to share with you does work. I am a recovering porn addict myself. Three years ago I couldn't last a week without watching porn or masturbating. Event though I made a decision to stop, I found myself falling back into my old ways time after time.
It now has been over 2 years since I watched pornography or masturbated. But please don't let this statement scare you, I will not try to tell you what you should or shouldn't do. I will simply share my struggles with pornography and what I did to break free. I had to learn a lot about myself in order to get to this point. In the following article I summarized the most important techniques that allowed me to stop porn addiction. For more in depth version I recommend our Free Recovery Course.
Most importantly, you don't have to take my word for it. Here are just some of the positive things that our readers had to say:
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This article is organised in 8 major parts. In parts 1-3 I share my understanding of porn craving. In part 4 I share a very powerful technique that allowed me to break free from the slavery of porn addiction. In parts 5-7 I list some very important tips for long term recovery. And in part 8 I Thank You, because without people who have the courage to face their cravings this world world be a very dark place!
1. Pornography Is Not Just a Bad Habit!
A first major component in my own recovery was an understanding that pornography viewing was not just a bad habit. It was an obsessive compulsive cycle (see Figure 1 below) from which I was not able to break free. It usually started with an unwanted sexual thought that I would try to avoid for as long as I could.
Figure 1. Obsessive Compulsive Cycle of Pornography Addiction
Unfortunately, trying NOT to think about something never really worked for me, and eventually I would get to a point where thoughts would get so intense that I couldn’t handle the pressure any longer. Then I would go back to the only way that I knew to make sexual thoughts temporarily go away – watching pornography and masturbating.
After sexual acting out I would slowly come back to my senses and realize what have happened. I would feel guilt for being so weak and giving in and I would swear to never do it again!
Unfortunately over time I would find sexual thoughts coming back, and since I didn’t know how to handle them in a healthy way, the whole cycle would repeat itself.
Clearly fighting my sexual desires only made them come back stronger and faster, and I began to rely more on pornography and masturbation to help me get a temporary relieve.
Eventually this cycle got completely out of control to the point where I would have to spending most of my day watching porn. My brain got so used to regular imagery that I would have to seek out really hard core pornography in order to temporary satisfy my desires, and allow me to return to my normal state.
In other words, I found that the more I fed my porn addiction, the stronger it got.
2. No Craving Can Last Forever!
The second component that I learn was an understanding that any human feeling, including cravings, cannot last forever. In actuality any physiological impulse is shaped like a bell curve (see figure 2 below).
At first cravings starts out slow but grow exponentially until they get really intense. Somewhere along this path most of addicts would end up giving in. As the result they get used to an idea that they could never get past their cravings and that their cravings will eventually get so strong, that they will have no choice but to give in.
Figure 2. Craving Curve
In actuality human beings cannot sustain any emotion or feelings indefinitely, and eventually any feeling or craving will decrease.So the trick to stopping porn addiction is to learn to ride out cravings; to master a skill to stay away long enough for cravings to go away. This of course sounds simple, but as many addicts know it is not as easy to do.
Below I am going to share a technique with you that have helped me do just that. But first let me show you a few simple physiological signals that can be used to measure how strong our craving really is.
3. Physiological Signs of a Strong Craving
It is important to know certain physiological changes that begin to take place in human body when they experience strong desire to watch porn and/or masturbate compressively. Such changes include:
- Rapid Pulse
- Increased blood pressure
- Dilated Eyeballs
- Shallow Breath
We can learn our pulse rate during normal state and then use this information to recognize if our pulse is getting too high. Therefore pulse can serve as an easy to measure indicator that we are about to get out of control. At the same time we can use pulse measurement to let us know that we are exiting the danger zone and that the physical craving begins to decrease.
Another very important component that is easy to observe is our breath. Breath is the only subconscious bodily function that we can consciously control. Think about it! You cannot control your blood pressure, you cannot control you pulse, but you can control your breath. You can take slow, deep, controlled breaths, and through that you can have a direct effect on your subconscious mind. This is a very powerful key to stopping porn addiction!
4. Killing the Craving
So let’s move right into action. The technique that I used to help me overcome the craving is called Exposure and Response Prevention or ERP and is generally used for Obsessive Compulsive disorder and other psychological problems. It’s been around for a very long time, tons of people use it, and it is very effective. I’ve originally learned this technique from a book called “Kill the Craving” which uses ERP to help people with alcohol and drug addictions, and I slightly modified the approach to help me overcome porn addiction.
The key idea of this technique is to systematicallyexpose yourself to situations that would usually cause you to feel a strong craving and practice responding to this craving in a healthy way. This practice allows our subconscious mind to learn a healthy response mechanism by the time we are faced with a real craving.
Over time you will learn that cravings do not rule your life, and that there is a way for you to ride out a craving and return to your normal self without having to act out. And the high that you get from feeling proud of yourself will be much stronger than any high that you could possibly get from porn addiction.
ERP works in the following way. You first identify a trigger, and as soon as you feel the physiological response from your body, you measure your pulse rate, which you would likely find to be a bit higher than your normal pulse. After that you immediately shift into a controlled breathing exercise to calm your subconscious mind. Next you review your personal motivation statements, to remind yourself of all the positive things that you can bring into your life if you were not to act out. Then you measure your pulse again, and note the difference. Last but not least, you follow up with an act of self care. Let’s look at those steps a little more closely.
Step 1 – Identify or imagine the triggering situation.
While ERP is very effective with helping you overcome a real trigger, it will not be as helpful unless you have already practiced it continuously before facing the real danger. Therefore I recommend a commitment of at least 30 days with complete ERP practice being done the first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
A quick note on sources of trigger is due here. The book that I’ve mentioned earlier “Kill the Craving” recommended alcohol and drug addicts to look at photographs of their addictive substances in order to generate an addictive response. This approach, however, did not seem practical for porn addiction, because looking at addictive images was precisely what I was trying to avoid.
I solved this conflict by creating a strong mental image of myself in a triggering situation instead of looking at actual photography. For example I would imagine myself being alone with computer, or passing by a magazine stand at the store.
Our brain is not able to tell the difference between a vivid mental image and a real life situation, and will produce a similar physiological response. That way Exposure and Response Prevention techniques can be practiced in a safe environment, without having to expose yourself to the real danger.
If at any time during the day you begging to feel a strong craving and a desire to act out, follow up with an extra ERP exercise. Personally, at first I found myself doing 3-5 ERP exercises per day, but soon was able to get through most of my days with only 1 or 2 exercises.
Step 2 - Measure your pulse rate as soon as you observe your body begin to change.
It is easier to measure your pulse for 15 seconds and multiply it times four. Follow this link to download a quick reference chart that will help you to quickly convert your pulse rate and keep the record of your progress.
It is likely that measuring your pulse rate may feel like a burden at first, but after a few days of ERP practice you will get used to it and it will become very easy.
Also, after 5 to 10 days of regular ERP practice you may notice that your pulse rate will not change as much as it did at first from you merely imagining a triggering situation. Please do not use this as an excuse to go look for more triggering stuff. After all it is the sole purpose of ERP practice to train your body not to react addictively to triggers. Therefore, take the decrease pulse rate as a sign of progress, and continue your practice for at least 30 days to allow new habit to form. (It takes about 30 days of repeating a certain task for human beings to form a habit)
Step 3 - Perform Controlled Breathing Exercise.
After you record your pulse rate, follow up with a controlled breathing exercise. Simply, breathe in for 10 seconds, hold your breath for 10 seconds, and breathe out for 10 second. Repeat it 10 times.
I use my fingers that I keep resting on my knees to keep the count of my breaths, tapping each finger for one of ten counts. That way I can free up my mind from counting and concentrate on breathing.
Remember that our breathing is the only subconscious function that we can control through our conscious effort. Do not overlook this step.
Step 4 - Review Personal Motivational Statements.
Next you review your personal statements. You will have to do a little homework on this. Just sit down and write down all of the reasons why you want to get sober. Why do you want to stop porn addiction? What positive changes would it bring into your life? What negative consequences will you be able to avoid?
Answers to these questions must be able to touch the bottom of your soul. When I read mine I can literally feel the Goosebumps! That is how badly you need to want to stop this addiction and get the good things in your life. If you are not going to feel the Goosebumps and if it is not going to touch your soul, it is just not going to be strong enough to make you choose life instead of porn when you will be faced with real temptation.
Some of the statements that I used were: My dreams of having a wife and a child will come true if I walk away. I will be stronger and more in control if I walk away. I will regain my self-respect and dignity if I walk away. My family will be proud of me if I walk away. I will be able to look into people’s eyes, and feel proud of myself if I walk away. You can download 30 sample stamens here.
I had each of my reasons written on 3 by 5 cards, which I would read out loud to myself during each ERP practice. Cards allowed me to be doing (i.e. moving the cards), reading and hearing the message at the same time. Human beings learn the best by combination of action, seeing and hearing. (We learn even better by teaching something that we already know to somebody else. So when you get a handle on ERP practice yourself, try to teach it to another addict).
Step 5 – Re-measure your pulse rate.
When you first begin your ERP practice, you might notice that your pulse rates remain the same between steps 2 and 5. Sometimes you may even find it going up a little. It is normal. Over time you will learn to decrease your pulse rate, and you will be able to bring yourself back to your normal state. Ideally you should be able to decrease your pulse rate from its highest point by about 4 to 8 bits per minute.
Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, overtime you will notice that your pulse rate in step 2 will not be getting as high as it did at first in reaction to the triggers. This will be a sign of your progress.
Step 6 – Follow up with an act of self care.
This is also a very important step. You have to do something good for yourself. Preferable you need to get out of the house.
For my first 30 days I would go out and jog after my morning practice. And if I felt the craving again during the day, I would do another ERP exercise and follow up with a different act of self care, like cooking a healthy meal, journaling, or taking a nap. After my evening practice my act of self care was simply to go to bed early. You can view a list of 67 healthy things to do for fun.
5. One Technique is Not Enough!
I want to share one short story with you that helped me to put everything together and stop porn addiction for good. Exposure and Response Prevention technique is great, but I think it would not have gotten the job done if it was used alone. Anyway, here is the story:
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.So I thought what can I do to feed the right wolf? The answer was not as obvious as it might seem.
“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Over time I came to a conclusion that if I took a good care of myself, my good wolf will be stronger, and my bad wolf will be weaker. Therefore in addition to the daily practice of Exposure and Response Prevention, I committed to the following rules:
- 8 hours of sleep a day
- Eating Healthy (3 meals, and 2 snacks a day)
- Drink plenty of water (at least 8 glasses a day)
- Journaling about my triggers
- Meditating
- Morning and Evening Prayer
- Avoiding Dangerous Situations (think acronym HALT)
- Hungry
- Angry
- Lonely
- Tired
Soon after you’ll stop porn addiction, you will become able to get in touch with your true feelings. While this might sound like a good thing, you could find those true feelings to be unpleasant.
Chances are you’ve used your addiction for a very long time to escape discomforts of life, and when you take away this crutch, you might feel the full weight of your past mistakes.
Just realize that this pain is a temporary. Use this pain as a guide to identify what areas of your life need improvements, so you can face them and get the life that you truly deserve.
7. Other Resources to Consider
I used everything that I’ve outlined so far to help me get my first ever 90 days of sobriety from porn and masturbation. In the matter of fact I have not masturbated yet (over 2 years now) since I did my first 30 days of ERP practice. I did however look at soft core pornography on a few occasions so this method is not perfect. Actually, I have yet to find a perfect method, and when I will I’ll make sure to let you know. But for now I wanted to share a few other resources that I found helpful.
12 step groups
There is a lot of criticism out there in regards to 12 step groups, but I’ll recommend you doing what my sponsor told me to do, “Take what works for you, and leave the rest behind”. The best thing about the 12 step groups is that the infrastructure is already in place.
If you live near a major city, chances are you will have multiple meetings in your area. If you live in a remote location, you can always attend a phone meeting. It is there, it is available, and you can meet people who have similar problems and are looking for similar solutions. And best of all, it will only cost you a 2 dollar donation per meeting. You can view a full list of 12 step meetings here.
I’ve been attending Sex Addicts Anonymous for almost 2 years now (I started right after I lost my first 90 days of sobriety), and it has been a tremendous tool in my own recovery.
Professional Counseling
Professional counseling is a great tool, but you need to be careful, and pick a counselor experienced with porn addiction.
You may want to consider an Online based recovery course. The only program that I can personally put a good word for is Candeo Can recovery course. They offer a Free Mini-Course which is definitely worth checking out.
Additionally we have a Free Recovery Course posted on this site, which provides a lot more of other helpful information.
I am sure there are other good programs available, so make sure to find what works for you.
Accountability Software
Knowing that there is no way to hide my internet history made it much easier for me to make good decision when browsing the internet.
I recommend Covenant Eyes that costs $10 a month. This software does not filter any of the internet content, but it keeps a detailed report of all your internet activity and emails it to your accountability partner.
A free option that I also use is K9 web filter. This filter can block access to certain sites and keep track of all of the internet history. Just make sure that somebody else is in charge of the password.
No software is perfect and there is always a way around it, nevertheless I found those tools to be extremely helpful.
Educate Yourself
Read as much as you can on how to stop porn addiction. This is what I did and continue to do. It will not only help you to stop porn addiction, but it will help you with the rest of your life.
Spiritual Life
Get involved with your spiritual life, and make sure you make room for it.
Journaling
Journaling was one of the most beneficial tools for me. There is something magical about getting your thoughts on paper.
Remember, progress and not perfection!
Don’t try to do it perfectly and don’t try to be perfect. You will make mistakes, we all do. As long as you keep working at it, you will get better. It took you many years to get this far into your addiction, don’t expect to fix it all in 30 days. It will take you some time. Be patient with yourself, keep going, and your life will continue to improve.
If you stumble don’t beat yourself up.
Just learn from your mistakes, and over time you will become a new person. If you keep working at it, there is no other way; you will become a new person!
8. Thank You!
Thank you for carrying, thank you for trying to change yourself, and thank you for continuing to look for solutions. By making changes in yourself you are making this world a much better place!
If you know someone who is looking for ways to stop porn addiction, please share this message with them!
And remember to feed the right wolf :)
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138 comments:
Very wonderful video to stop pornography addiction. I think this will help lots of people those who all are addicted to it.
I definitely recommend this video to my friends. It's really helpful with those people who wants to stop their addictiveness in pornography.
what a great videos.
Indeed those are such strong points and statements. Just right to the spot. Splendidly discussed and empowered pieces of advice. Calling someone for a distraction can also be a very effective approach towards overcoming such addiction.
my name is Jonathan from Ghana, Thank you very much. Initially i thought may be you know me even when you have not seen me because all the introduction was true about me so i really took it very serious. once again i say God bless you and thank you.
Thanks a Lot Jonathan,
I recommend signing up for my Free Recovery Course, it is packed full with information, and I think you will find it very helpful.
Wow...I really like the story of the Cherokee. Thanks for sharing pal!
Thank you for all you help. May The Good Lord Bless you
i wish i could give u something but im only13 thanku god bless u
I'm really appreciate of you! may God bless you and your family!
i'm 14 and i have been masturbating from two years. It's always after masturbation that i feel guilty of myself and search for the real path- the path of truth and fearlessness. I hope this video will diminish my lone evil of pornography addiction and project me towards a better life... i don't have words for u, but i believe that GOD will certainly bless u.
Ashish, my site and videos are for adults only. I certainly am not qualified to provide any advice to underage people. Please turn to an adult in your life that you can trust, and ask them for advice!
I'm a teenager and have been masturbating for three years. I never realized how much it would effect me when I started. Nobody ever talked about it. But it has ruined my life. Thank God for people like you.
This is exactly what I need, thank you so much!
I searched the internet for these steps and found your site. Thanks for sharing.
story of my life
I am out of ideas on what to try outside of admitting it to someone else and facing the consequences of confessing it to them. I am starting this program tonight in hopes that it will be the thing that finally kicks the habit. The videos were amazing. They described me perfectly. I hope this works because I am tired of constantly having to feed the wolf and feeling like I am weaker than a stupid image or video. I want to be free of these chains that have bound me for 15 years and I think this might do it. Thank you for posting this information.
Thank You So Much!! I'm only 15 and when i read this it helped a lot. Thank you for posting this info and God Bless You.
Thanks alot for the vids,just wht an addict needed,Ive soughted help from many other sites and urs is the best iv ever came across. Im 17 years of age and ive been in a relationship which has been going on for 4 whole years.Weve even discussed on living a platonic,pure,sexless life in the future,so our love wud last forever,until end of time.before i got into it i had been viewing porn,but ive had put a halt for it for about 2 years since then but now im back into it,serious than before.now i masturbate 1-2 times a day,i try to do it in a healthy way like concentrating about other things but it keeps asking for porn..the type of it is anime,cartoon,and 3d games and stuff,because i believe that viewing a real person wud be betraying her in my heart.Im happy about myself in a way for having the ability to turn away from real pornography which includes real people .well thts the thing with me..i reason too much with myself,and all the determination to stop it falls to this single thought and etc of that sort. SO PLESE HELP ME OUT HERE..SHE TRUSTS ME,I WANNA HAVE THE FUTURE IVE ALWAYS DREAMED OF HAVING....god bless you,for not taking that selfish act of selling out vids like most others do n being open to all of us wanting to walk away.I owe you with my life
nice to see something without the religious bullshit here. well done.
THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm running out the door, but in case I don't find myself back here to give you more of my thoughts, at least know that your efforts are very much appreciated and I learned a lot!
ive been struggling with porn for two years. the longest time ive gone without it is only 5 weeks because of a vacation. im possitive this will help me and GOD BLESS YOU!
Thank you! I started looking at porn 6 years ago in 8th grade... I am now determined to get rid of this addiction. I don't want it to get in the way of having a happy marriage in the future.
I have been addicted to porn for at least two years now and i really hope that this can help me overcome my addiction No one is going to pay you for doing this but you did it anyways, and God will bless you for that
Really great information, this site needs more visitors. Thank you and God bless you
Thank you to everybody for your wonderful comments! I am really happy this information is helpful!
I want to thank you for the videos and these tips that you have offered. I get tired of having to try to pay for alot of anti-porn programs to help me combat it. It will be a nice change of pace to try something without the fear of wasting money. I do believe that these techniques and ideas you have posted will be a good idea for Christians and many others to try. God Bless!
Thank you so very much for this informatiomn. I finally realized what porn addiction is doing to me and how is affecting my life and this is a real help. I appreciate it.
God bless you!! :)
nice work may God bless you
God Bless you
Thanks for the wonderful article , helped a lot ,God Bless you
Great article, I think masturbation is the driving force with porn as the fuel for this?
It helps to know and I am trying it to and I am 12 and in 7th grade but this will help a lot and reading the coments let me knot I am not alone
wow. for a long time addict and counselor, i was really stuck in between my own problems and helping others. i felt i was a bad influence and hypocrite for thinking how can i help everyone but myself. i feel better from this article above and believe it will help me and others to get on the right path. thanks to the author and stay clean!your mind body and spirit will thank you.
Thank You so Much I thought that I was crazy for thinking the way I did. You have Really Helped Me God Bless You
I too have been struggling with porn addiction and I wouldn’t have realized the negative effect it was having on my life if it wasn’t for the trouble I have been getting into lately. Thanks a million and God bless you; you have provided me with method to set my life straight.
Thank-you the benefit I'm getting from you outwirghs any gift I've ever received thank-you so much and God bless you
great
It helps to know that one can get rid of this vice at no cost at all. I have been struggling with this addiction for almost 7 years now and just reading this article gives me hope that my dark days are drawing to an end. May God in his infinite mercy bless you.
Thanks ..
I am 87 years old and have been fighting with this for 58 years. I have tried this method for two years and it is great!
I was addicted to looking at the bra and women's underwear pages of the Montgomery Wards cataloges as a child. My addiction expanded as a teen when I saw a nude picture on the ground from a nudie magazine and I graduated to Playboy and other nude magazines. Now, with the internet, pornography is just a click away and it has hindered my life and my walk with the Lord! I want to be clean and I am willing to try this program for myself and my future wife. Thank you for this info and I will post back here when I am free of this addiction. AS A 47 YEAR, PORNOGRAPHY IS A DRUG THAT WILL NOT CONQUER ME ANYMORE!! Thank you once again!
I had my first oral sex to a girl at twelve when I was ten. I then discovered magazines then internet porn, am now at 28. I have been trying to quit this for a while. It can be couple of months without it then I get back to it. I have healthy relationships and social interactions at this point. It is because I respect women and appreciate their companion to me. In fact, I admire my gf's support, her intelligence and unconditioned love towards our relationship for the past few years. Porn irritates me because I know it is twisted and it just not the reality. In fact it can be very harmful. My father was alcoholic. I thought I was successful at staying away from alcohol and drugs but failed in porn. I am just a few years away being a family guy, and I have no right to drag others into this. As i put it this way: I was all complete and clean once, I can be it again. (note: there is a tremendous difference in my behavior when I am out of it). I was born without this habit, I will not die with it. I accomplish good things when things are at their equilibrium state. That's how I need to spend my time in my life.
BTW, I have your website in my bookmarks so that I can reach these info of relief faster than I would begin transforming to a different dimension. Good work and seems professional.
Hello. This is a great web site, and thank you for posting this valuable information. I have been an addict ever since I first got home Internet access more than 16 years ago. I'm sure the roots of my problem go much further back. I have made numerous attempts to control my addiction by myself but to no avail. Now I realize I need help and am willing to commit myself to do whatever it takes to recover.
I installed the K9 filter on both of my home computers and turned over the passwords to a trusted friend to whom I confided several years ago. I've often thought over the years that I could benefit from professional counseling, but I've never known who to call, where to go, etc. It occurred to me that perhaps my employer's Employee Assistance Program could help. Has anybody had any success with these? I looked at what my EAP has to offer, but there doesn't seem to be anything specifically related to porn addiction. The closest thing seems to be alcohol/substance abuse.
If anybody has any advice in general and specifically where to go for professional counseling, I would most welcome it.
God, thank you! i know you have spoken to me through this person. I'm 17.. and i have had this addiction for atleast 8 years. I've tried many times. and this addiction brought more and more grief into my life. i have failed everything. i pray about it every day. i cry about my relationship with God everyday. God help me. God help all of us... My addiction is soo strong! pray for me guys. pray please!
Wonderful blog . Thanx a lot for your insights. I have been addicted for almost 10 years now. I did not try seriously enough earlier as i did not feel like it was an addiction. But since last 4 years i have been trying to get rid of this addiction but i have always failed. Reading your blog i feel more confident about myself that i can get rid of this addiction by following the recovery program that you have suggested with small changes according to my lifestyle. thanks again
Very good blog,You are helping people very rare in the world on which we live.What a good advise blog.Will use these methods to stop feeding the addiction.
To Anonymous asking about paying for professional counseling.
This question comes up a lot, and unfortunately currently our society doesn't yet officially recognizes the porn problem as a legitimate health issue. Which means your health insurance will probably not pay for your treatment.
However, there are a lot of problems that come with pornography addiction, that look legitimate in the eyes of your health provider - such problems could be depression and other similar issues.
For example, when I used to see a psychologists, I got it for free because I was also struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression. Those two issues paid for my bill, while I also got help for my pornography addiction.
Thank you for this blog. I have tried to quit countless times and will now attempt to quit using this particular methodology. I am probably one of the most addicted porn users here -- 1-3 times a day, need very rough, degrading hardcore stuff, weird fetishes, cartoon porn, humiliation crap, you name it -- I've seen it all. I've hacked into numerous pay sites, watched thousands of videos to the point where I couldn't even get hard when I tried to have sex recently. I can barely get aroused with extremely graphic content.
But I will try and slowly ween myself off the rough stuff, watch triggers (soft-core content to start) and then breath in and out. I have notecards posted on my door so whenever I go in and out, I will see my statements and ERP reminders. I have so much to lose (abilities with women, my career aspirations, everything) and cannot believe I have let it get this bad. Now whenever I see a cute girl on the street I immediately get horny and want to run home and look at porn. Hopefully ERP several times a day can help with the cravings. Hope to report back in a few weeks with some good news!
-Optimistic
Alex,
I am now 40 days Sober, and hopeful.
I could never have done this without the help from this website. Journaling has been life-changing for me.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
13 years old, 7th grade. Determined to get my life back before I make lasting stains on it, but couldn't do it alone. Thank you in advance
we need someone with high tech knowledge that can hack into these porn sites or portals and shut them down for a couple of hours as they recently did with the mastercard site... if everyone could list the websites they watch or consider "the gates" for yourselves as you go through your porn rush, some statistics could be develop and contacting these sites directly for accountability could be an option... with enough firms a senator could be contacted about the issue and legislation to regulate this addictive industry could be pursue... just a thought, but teamwork is necessary.... last thing... please review 2 books, they have them in audio: 1. The Power of Now, and 2. Zero Limits. These 2 will help everyone... guaranteed! May all your spirits be awaken!!! and God bless you blogger!
13 year old. Please please listen. Do not struggle with this on your own. Be very very brave and speak to your school counselor!!! Please don't hurt yourself anymore!
Can I ask something I’m first time revealing this secret with you and it played a vital role in my life to feed the pornography addiction and cause a huge stress in my life. My father died when I was 2 year old and my mother didn’t get married again. In order to feed her sexual desires she choose the wrong way now she is sexually addicted. I started hating my mother and blaming her that she is responsible for what has happened with me this is the most difficult thing to accept in my life but now I can understand the brain science behind this addiction after reading brain science behind this addiction.
I want to help my mother she need my help but the problem is that she is uneducated and can’t understand these kind of stuff she doesn’t even know what is mean by this addiction then how can I bring her to Candeo or help her to cure herself from this addiction.
Please help me regarding this I love my mom and I want to help her whenever I think about it I couldn’t stop my tears.
Best Regards
Thank you, I will be trying this! Porn is a deadly monster that traps you like nothing else, I want to defeat that monster.
thank you for killing porn
To person with a long question about your mother. Would you mind taking this discussion over to our pornography addiction forum ?
I just feel that this format would be more helpful, and this way other people can provide their feedback as well. If you are concerned about your privacy, you can always create a different email address and use it to register.
your advice is great! I am realising that porn is a deadly monster and can take control of my life. Your techniques are amazing! God bless u!
thx but what can i do if my peers influence me to do it, and i can not live in school if i ignore them or ditch them
thank you so much
thank you. also check www.yourbrainonporn.com
Thank you for sharing pal, really nice erp excercise
thanks you so much , i am now 20y and i've just realized that sex addiction will definitely break my latter life .I only have one life and i know that i must cherish it . God bless you !
This is really helpful :D unfortunatly.. I not an adult and I don't have an adult to tuurn to.. so I'm gonna have to rely on free internet help like this one
im 10 years old and im addicted.but thanks dude hopefully it works.and god bless you.
Underage People - Attention I don't believe I am qualified to give you any advice, but I do have a resource for you that will be very helpful.
I asked a good friends of mine if they had any resources for young people, and this was their reply:
"We start them here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/things-you-didnt-know-about-porn
But they are also welcome to join our forum at Reuniting: It's a tribe of folks all ages. We don't just talk about recovery, but recovery is the main focus. They will definitely find some "mom and dad" energy (without any harsh judgment). Most seem to find this comforting since they feel they can't talk to their real parents sometimes."
Please use this resource, and I wish you all of the best on your journey!
I want to thank who ever wrote this for i now this thing in my life will vanish not completely but to the point i can continue with my life and practice to be a musician thanks again.
Thanks a lot.
I'll try to follow these ...
I'm also a bad porn addicted person
Sorry, but I don't buy this.
Human sexual desire is not a "bell shaped curve"; it is a constant, never-ending need. There is nothing more central to human nature than a desire to pass on one's genes to the next generation (or as we understand it in biological terms, to experience sexual pleasure). Thus, if you are not having sex regularly, it is entirely normal to be masturbating in order to relieve sexual tension. Of course, porn is a different matter, and compulsive viewing of pornography is definitely a problem.
This article is very useful and helpful. I agree with the steps suggest and thank you for providing this. Ram.
I'm gonna give it a shot.
Thanks so much for trying to help!
I am an 18 year old teen who has struggled with an addiction to pornography and masturbation since the age of 13 when I got curious about puberty and what it meant to be a man and an adult. I have been devastated because I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon) of which I am very passionate and active about and for which I would like to serve a 2 year full time mission to spread my knowledge and testimony of Jesus Christ. I have been plagued by these addictions on the additional field of my standing with my Father in Heaven. I am really excited that I found your techniques because I've been trying to beat this on willpower and failed. ERP sounds like a great technique to add to my arsenal as well as the others you mentioned i.e. K9, Spirituality, Journaling and such. I've begun a private blog which I only know about to be able to share my thoughts while subconsciously being "accountable to an audience" that's not really there. I am very thankful for this article, site, and the videos. Thank you for helping me out with something that I'm ready to get rid of. :)
I totally agree that it's not just a bad habit. It can actually affect your sexual health.
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Im 13 and i think ima try to change
Thank you for this awesome article, I'm 16 and have been addicted for 2 years now. I've tried to stop by myself using willpower but never lasted more than 2 weeks, I believe that with this information, and ERP I will be able to break the cycle.
Thanks and God bless you
Thank you so much for creating this website and all the information, tips, and guides. I think I knew from the beginning that this was not just a bad habbit or small issue that could be stopped with a little willpower. Now I recognize the addictive and obsessive-compulsive aspect of this, and how it affects the mind and body scientificly. I think that when I know why I keep making the wrong decision and how to actually fix my problem, I can combine knowledge with willpower and end the bad cycle.
And to those of you who feel like you began to look at worse than normal sexual content, know that you are not crazy, insane, evil, or anything irreversably terrible; you are just a victim of yourself, but rather than pity, you must fight to fix your problem! YOU CAN BE A BETTER PERSON NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! It's who you truely want to be that you really are.
I'll pray to god that he should bless you, your amazing, i mean that Feed the right wolf story is really cool, but i think that works with other addictions than poragraphy. thanks anyways, im gonna try this out. I'll post a new comment here if it works :DD i feel really excited about this :) thanks agaiin :D
Dude thank you very much, i find myself struggling with this thinking the whole world is gonna fall on top of me but no a good perspective of this really helped myself & others thankyou . good things are to be earned from this.
Just left the pornography addiction and now I'm into sex addiction
You described my life for the last 2 years perfectly. Every time I would say "it's ok, this will be the last time", but it never was. When I tried to avoid it or tell myself no, the urging would only get stronger. Sometimes it felt like my whole life was crashing down and the only way out was to watch more porn. It shocks me that I have been falling to this sinful behavior for 2 years now, and I still haven't gotten a grip on it. I'm going to college now, and I need to get this addiction out of my life. I really hope that your program helps me, and I will keep a blog here of my weekly progress. God Bless!
Thursday, July 28th -Porn Free-
thank you for saving me i hope you are having a good life
wish me luck guys... m starting the exercises from today....my next post will be 3 months from now...i hope i recover from this sickness...n hey..thanks
Hi, i have been struggling with a porn addiction for about 3 and a half years. The last four and a half years of my life have been hell, and i think i started using porn to help me escape from it. (And to satisfy my curiosity) Eventually i was discovered, and since my browsing habits were watched,i stopped for a while. But sadly, i was smart...and desperate. i figured out how to erase or hide my browsing habits, then we got google chrome and the incognito window. That incognito capability allowed me to continue my unhealthy habits. I am really hoping your guide and a few others will help me to break my addiction, i have tried on my own, but they most i have gone without porn was like, 2 and a half weeks. I am trying to extend it every time. I realise that my porn habits will cause be problems in the future, especially with the whole trust thing. I am also very interested in this girl, and i would never want to hurt her by viewing porn. Thank you for this site!
I cannot say when I truly was an addict, but I can say that I started viewing porn at about the age of 14. So, if we assume that my addiction began at age 14, that means I have been addicted to porn for 13 years! After dedicating my life to serving Christ and attending a church (planing on becoming a member), I realized that porn is the thorns in my life that must go. However, I have a history of beating myself up when I mess up so I am not good at changing my behaviors. I tried going cold turkey, but I ended up getting the shakes and nightmares and eventually gave in. I decided I needed to research this more and find a good recovery plan. Most websites are good at telling you what the causes of porn addiction are, but except you to fork over major cash for their recovery plan. I just don't have the money to try plans that may be ineffective. This site was exactly what I was looking for!!!!! I been writing down all the information in note form and now have a plan of attack! I am going to be learning now about keeping a journal and also looking for a 12 step group in my area (especially if it is a 12 step SAA type meeting).
Im crying while Im reading these comments...its good to know that Im not the only one who face with this problem. Im a girl, 18 years old, I've been facing with this porn addiction and masturbation for about 2 years, specially in the last 4 months. its just so HARD to break it, I've tried almost everything and nothing works. when I give in I feel so good, oh its great but then....when I realize what just happened I start to cry.
I read this article and Im gonna try the ERP thing and I really hope it helps me, I dont know what else to do. I want to please Jehovah god, I want to be FREE. I hope I can get rid of this otherwise I dont know what Im going to do....thanks for this article and please, post more things that can help us, we need it.
I've felt 'lost' for a few years and have barely talked to anyone about it. I've been trying to self-heal and over the years I've been attaching my depression to a few different things. Lately, I've realized that the root of my problem is masturbation. I am 24 years old and I have steady job and relationship. Both have at times suffered due to my 'lack of focus', which most probably stems from me masturbating once each day. I am well aware of the consequences but I just can't change although I truly want to. Thanks for the website. This just gave me a flicker of hope. I am definitely trying these techniques.
Hi, im the same anonymous who posted at Augest 4, 2011, 4:42 AM. I was reading the comments people had made since mine, and i noticed the anonymous from August 4 2011 6:43 PM had the name Jehovah God. I as well would very much like to keep my relationship with him strong, and i know that porn and masterbation offend him, and are sins. Porn has also made my life more stressful, because of the guilt and the paranoia of being caught. I know how much it would hurt my family, my friends, and i know that i am already hurting god. I gave in today... So i came back to this site to reread the info and read more comments. It nice to know that others can understand what i go through. I realise that instead of feeding the beast when i am having a hell week(or day or w/e)like last week was for me, i need to stay busy with other things. It does not help that i was alone on the p.c late at night...i need to stop doing that. And i should have turned it off when i was tempted and prayed for strength. Im going to try and go three weeks with no porn now. Beat my two and a half. Im gonna try to extend it every time.
As always thanks to everybody for all your comments.
Last anonymous, I hope you were able to find a 12 step meeting. Let me know if you need any help :)
to August 8, 2011 7:39 PM im the woman of the comment you mentioned, and as you did i also gave in today.. i feel so angry with myself right now. but i need to be strong and fight again, i cant let the devil and my stupid selfish desires win this battle. and yeah boredom is a bit problem to me too, and having a laptop in my room isnt helping me either. i need to keep myself busy, gonna resume my daily reading of the bible, jehovah is the only one who can give us the strength that we need. as i said the first time, thanks for all the info, ill read everyday if i have to.
I feel so guilty now. I've been looking at porn 3-4 times a week and masturbating 5-6 times a week. thanks for the help
Great.
Really Great site, It is really good to know that I am not the only one with problems.... I know all of you are doing your best to change-soo good luck and turn to God in your time of troubles, he always hears you! :)
thank you .
I trust that this will work. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.
how can i see the video and the ERP list? when i click the link only leads to this page. thanks
It's really helpful in that it covers the expansive depth of pornography addiction.This is one of the best article i've read in my life,i am sure anyone who is suffering from this sinnister addiction will be quite chuffed to know there is a way out.Thanks a million for your encouraging advice and words.
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