What Do You Want from Life? A Very Important Exercise

Today, I am going to ask you to complete a simple but very important exercise. If I could ask you to complete only one exercise before you leave this course, this would have to be it.

I waited so long to introduce it because I wanted to help you to release some of the initial pressure of addiction first and only then ask you to look at the bigger picture.

Your past is the result of choices you have made. Your future will be the result of the choices that you will make. There are millions of roads that you can take, and each one of them will take you to a different place. The question is, where do you want to go? We are going to try to answer this question now.

I want you to imagine yourself being an old person, lying on your deathbed. You only have few breaths left in you. You look back at your life, and you realize that while it wasn't perfect, you lived it well. You feel proud of yourself, and the choices that you have made. It is OK to go now.

The question is, what choices do you need to make now, in what direction do you need to take your life in order to become this old person?

When I did this exercise, I realized that I wanted to have a family. I realized that I wanted to do work that was meaningful. That I wanted to be a good, honest, present, and sober man.

Nothing extraordinary really, but it does not need to be extraordinary, it is simply right for me.

Before I did this exercise, I wasn't sure what I wanted in life. I was lost and confused. Sometimes I wanted one thing, and other times I wanted another.

But I know now, from the bottom of my heart, that what I truly want is to be this happy old person, looking back at my life, feeling proud of the life that I lived.

Now I have a vision of where I want to go. It is like the North Star that I use to guide my journey. Anytime when I get lost in life, I can step back and ask myself, will this road take me to where I really want to go?

Please take the next 3 days and think about what route in life would help you to become this happy and satisfied person. There are many different roads available. I want you to find the one that is right for you!

Take your time and be gentle. And please don't forget to do your ERP practice and the other positive things.

See you in 3 days!

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Act Your Way into a New Kind of Thinking

Don't try to think your way into a new kind of acting, act your way into a new kind of thinking.

For most of my life I used to look at the things that I did as a consequence of who I was. For example if I got a bad grade in school, I would think, that this was a result of me being a stupid person.

Now I realize it is not who I am that determines what I do; but in opposite, it is what I do, the choices that I make on a daily basis, that determines who I am.

If I choose to eat healthy, if I choose to exercise, if I choose to work my program of recovery - I will be a healthy, sober person.

The word "choose" is not something that addicts are very familiar with. After all if we could choose to not act out, we would. The point is while we are powerless over choosing not to do certain behaviors, we are able to choose to do positive things in our lives. For example we can choose to go to a 12 step meeting or seek counseling. Overtime we can learn to fill up our lives with enough healthy choices, that there will be no room left for our addiction.

The 40 Tips for Life

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a TiVo (DVR), tape your late night

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to__________ today."

5. Live with the 3 E's - Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy, and the 3 F's - Faith, Family, Friends. 

6. Watch more G movies play more games with friends and read more books than you did in 2006.

7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.

11. Drink some green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, seafood, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you
cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn, pass all your tests. Problems are simply part of the
curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too shor t to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past, so it won't mess up the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. What other people think of you is none of your business.

29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31. Your job won't take care o f you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

34. The best is yet to come.

35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

36. Do the right thing!

37. Call your family often.

38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for __________."
"Today I accomplished _________." >

39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. Make the most of it and enjoy the ride.  

Note: The following tips are not from me, they came from a chain email that I received a long time ago. Those, however, are very powerful tips, and I wanted to share them with as many people as possible. If you like it, pass it on as well!

Run For Your Life!

Recent research from Cambridge University indicates that " running stimulates the brain to grow fresh grey matter and it has a big impact on mental ability".

This was exactly my experience when I was struggling to break out from my addictive cycle. As the research indicates "A few days of running led to the growth of hundreds of thousands of newbrain cells that improved the ability to recall memories withoutconfusing them, a skill that is crucial for learning and othercognitive tasks". I think that learning to recall some of the memories without confusing them from reality was a very crucial part in my recovery.

Additionally "Previous studies have shown that "neurogenesis" is limited in peoplewith depression, but that their symptoms can improve if they exerciseregularly. Some antidepressant drugs work by encouraging the growth ofnew brain cells." This is another statement that completely agrees with my personal experience. Depression is often linked to addictions and I know it was the case for me.

I do not think running alone will be sufficient as the only tool to fight addiction, but I am confident that it is one of the most powerful tools that we have and it would be a good idea to use it regularly in combination with other methods.

5 Easy Steps to Help You Fall Asleep

For the longest time I had a problem falling asleep. I would stay up until 2-3-4 in the morning, claiming that I just wasn't sleepy. After doing some research in that area I realized that I wasn't sleepy because I did some things that would wake me up. Now I regularly go to bed before midnight and have no problem falling asleep.

Here are some of the things that you can do to help you fall asleep.

1. Stop eating 10-12 hours before the time when you usually get up, and eat a healthy breakfast as soon as you can.

Recent study suggests that humans have two kinds of biological clocks. One is due to the light cycle, and another one, less know, due to the food intake cycle. Basically the way it works is that your body looks at the longest period of time that you go without food, and determents it to be the night. It also looks at the time when you break your fast, and determents it to be the time when the food becomes available - morning. Then your body adjusts your natural sleeping pattern to make sure that you sleep during the "night" and wake up in the "morning". At the same time eating something late at night stimulates your body to produce energy and it wakes you up. By not eating after 9pm and eating a healthy breakfast in the morning you will greatly increase your chances of getting a good night sleep.

2. Finish all stimulating activities at least 30 minutes before you go to bed.

This means turn off TV, Computer and any bright lights. All of the these are stimulating to your brain, and will keep you awake for a while. But you knew that already.

3. Journal to de-clutter your brain.

Since your TV is off and you now have extra 30 minutes, it is a good idea to spend this time clearing up your mind. You will be surprised to find out how much calmer you will fill after putting all of your thoughts out on paper. You can also take this opportunity to make a plan for the activities that you want to accomplish tomorrow, giving yourself a head start.

4. Do breathing exercises right before you lay down to go to sleep.

Breathing is the only subconscious function of our organism that we can consciously control. (Think about it, we cannot control our blood pressure, temperature, or pulse rate, but we can control our breathing). Therefore the breathing exercises are the gateway to our subconscious mind. Recommended breathing technique for falling asleep is taking deep abdominal breathes for about a minute or two. This can be accomplished by placing one hand on your belly and another one on your chest. Try to inflate and deflate your stomach as much as possible while keeping your chest still. Repeat this five to ten times and you should begin to feel more relaxed.

5. Visualize until you fall asleep.

Close your eyes, after you lay down, and try to visualized a happy and relaxing place. You can imagine yourself on board of a ship looking over the ocean, or laying in the grass looking at the sky. Strive to see as many details as possible. The colours, what other people are wearing, what is happening around you. If you have difficulties visualizing a complex event, try to visualize a single colour instead. Choose a mellow colour like blue or white, instead of stimulating colours like red or bright yellow. Some people report that they are able to see multiple collared dots "flying" through their line of sight after they close their eyes. If you share a similar experience you can substitute visualizing with observe these dots.

That is it. As a last note I want to remind you to make sure that your place of rest is comfortable and well ventilated.

I wish you to sleep well!

Just For Today

The following is an adaptation of "Just For Today" meditation borrowed from Emotions Anonymous group.

Just for today
The choice is mine

Just for today I will live through this day only, and not try to tackle all of my problems at once. All I have to do is take small steps in the right direction, getting there will take care of itself.

Just for today I will try to be happy, realizing that my happiness does not depend on what others do or say or what happens around me. Happiness is a result of being at peace with myself.

Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to force everything to adjust to my own desires. I will take my life as it comes, and I will fit myself to it.

Just for today I will take care of my physical health; I will exercise my mind; I will read something spiritual.

Just for today I will do something good for somebody. I will do at least one thing I don’t want to do, and I will perform some small acts of love.

Just for today I will try to go out of my way to be kind to someone I meet. I will be considerate and talk low. I will not engage in unnecessary criticism or try to find faults. I will not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pet peeves — hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will stop saying, “If I had time.” There is never enough time. If I want to do something, I must make time for it.

Just for today I will have a quiet time of meditation; I shall relax and seek truth.

Just for today I shall be unafraid. Particularly, I shall be unafraid to be happy, to enjoy what is good, beautiful, and lovely in life.

Just for today I will not compare myself with others. I will accept myself and live to the best of my ability.

Just for today!

67 Healthy Things To Do For Fun

Here is a list of some fun things to do in life that do not rely on Television and Internet.

Time Alone

1. Reading Books
2. Listening to Music
3. Listening to Radio
4. Listening to Audiobooks/Podcasts
5. Blogging
6. Playing Musical Instruments
7. Drawing
8. Writing Songs and Poems
9. Cooking
10. Taking Photos
11. Creative writing
12. Learning new skills
13. Building something with your hands
14. Drinking Tea
15. Going to a library
16. Assembling Puzzles
17. Look through photo albums

Physical/Mental/Spiritual Health

1. Taking care of your body
2. Eating Healthy
3. Drinking Water
4. Healthy Sleeping
5. Praying
6. Meditating
7. Doing Breathing Exercises
8. Reading Inspirational Biographies
9. Writing in a Journal
10. Stretching
11. Going for a Walk
12. Swimming
13. Running
14. Weight Training
15. Playing Sports

Financial Wellbeing

1. Studying
2. Networking
3. Budgeting
4. Updating resume

Connecting with Others

1. Spending time with Loved Ones
2. Spending time with Friends
3. Attending Social Groups and Meetings
4. Volunteering
5. Going to Religious Services
6. Connect with random people around you
7. Helping out in Nursing Home
8. Watching inspirational movies with others

Outdoors City

1. Going to Theaters
2. Going to Concerts
3. Going to Movies
4. Going to Museums
5. Going on Walking tours
6. Going to Seminars
7. Trying new foods
8. Ice skating
9. Bowling
10. Pool
11. Indoor skydiving
12. Golf
13. Traveling

Outdoors Nature

1. Hiking
2. Camping
3. Picnic
4. Fishing
5. Going to Parks
6. Sailing/Kayaking
7. Riding a bicycle
8. Flying a Kite
9. Skiing/Sledding
10. Looking at the Stars